Greetings comrades, today’s latest show trial focuses on two homosexual businessmen, Mr. Mati Weiderpass and Mr. Ian Reisner. You might be wondering how these two men could have crossed the LGBTTQQFAGPBDSM community, but it’s actually very simple. The two gay hoteliers in questioned dared to host the repugnant, evil RethuggliKKKan Ted Cruz at their apartment for a dinner and “fireside-chat”. You might be thinking that Ted Cruz has not actually committed any crimes, not said anything that Billary or President Obama said a few years ago about gay marriage, but then you too would be committing thoughtcrime just like Mr. Weiderpass and Mr. Reisner.
The show trial of Brendan Eich should’ve been enough to show American citizens that certain thoughts and donations to the wrong party are wrong. Obviously, more protests, boycotts, and of course show trials are in order for these two wretched enemies of the LGBTTQQFAGPBDSM community and society at large. Don’t forget comrades, it’s wrong for someone who disagrees with gay marriage to have a job but no reason to boycott Saudi Arabia or Iran and all of the oil and petrochemicals that they produce. Differences in opinion from the Party and thoughtcrime are not allowed. For anyone who would like further references on how to properly debate and reason with your opponents, please look to your fellow comrades over at The People’s Cube.
Both of the guilty men have apologized for their horrendous actions. Mr. Reisner quipped: “I’ve spent the past 24 hours reviewing videos of Cruz’ statements on gay marriage and I am shocked and angry,” Reisner continued. “I sincerely apologize for hurting the gay community and so many of our friends, family, allies, customers and employees. I will try my best to make up for my poor judgement. Again, I am deeply sorry.” Mr. Weiderpass stated: “I share in Ian’s remorse,” he wrote. “I, too, lay humbled with what has happened in the last week. I made a terrible mistake. Unfortunately, I cannot undo this. You taught me a painful but important lesson. The people that know me know the work that I have done over the last 20 years for the advancement of gay rights. Today, I came to realize that I might have nullified my past efforts and accomplishments in just one week.” These men have not even come close to paying their penance though. Surely, some donations to the Party to help fill up the coffers of the Billary campaign are certainly in order. Dear readers, what do you think the punishment for the two cretins in question should be?
Here are some links to the pending show trial and comments concerning the articles. Enjoy!