Have you heard of the Al-Aqsa Retirement Plan (AARP)?

Greetings everyone, I have some financial advice to share with you today. Are you near retirement? Are you having trouble paying bills? Do you also hate the kafirs and infidels occupying Palestine? Have you ever had suicidal thoughts? Then I’ve found the retirement program for you. The friendly folks of Hamas, the Al-Aqsa Brigades, and the Islamic State have banded together to form the Al-Aqsa Retirement Plan!

Not only will your family receive a $25,000 bonus upon signing, but you’ll also have 72 black-eyed ones and boy servants blessed with eternal youth. Doesn’t that sound much better than any sort of living stipend offered in Western countries? It’s certainly better than saving up your own cash for retirement. Why not sign up today?

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