Why vote Hillary?

Why is it that evil RethugliKKKans and KKKonservatives, and Losertarians continue to oppose Shillary Hillary? How could fiends even as wretched as those individuals possibly oppose such an enlightened progressive? Why haven’t these losers looked at Hillary’s voting record and television interviews to see just how much she pushes the progressive agenda from the Wrar in Iraq, to marriage, the TPP, and to the evil gender wage gap. Let’s take a moment to look at the stunning achievements that Hillary has championed, shall we?

Hillary on the war in Iraq:

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Hillary on gay marriage:

Hillary would never, ever flip-flop on issues just to garner votes. That’s simply beneath her. Let’s hear what she has to say about sexual assault victims:

Look at the confidence that people have in Hillary’s statements!

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Remember, it’s Republicans that are engaging in a War on Womyn™. Hillary cares about what women and rape victims  think.

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Remember, as a proud and loyal Party member you must partake in the “two minutes of hate” every day against Bill Cosby. Any defense given by him or his lawyer must not be accepted. The charges are simply too serious to do otherwise.

The Republican War on Womyn™must be fought and their will broken.

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Understand that Hillary supports fighting the Patriarchy© and ending the evil gender wage gap. Any thoughtcriminal who dares to mention the Equal Pay Act of 1963 should be silenced. Even the Administrative arms of the government support equal pay. Isn’t that just wonderful?

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Any evil RethugliKKKan’s who point out the gender wage gap in Hillary’s own campaign staff are buffoons who simply have no understanding of economics. While it’s OK for progs to use aggregate pay data rather than actually controlling for applicable factors when decrying the whole nation, it’s unacceptable to use such logic on a Progressive campaign.

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Never forget peasants citizens, the differences in comparing what all men get paid versus all women have absolutely nothing to do with completely voluntary life choices. The Patriarchy© is at fault. But don’t talk about how almost all workplace deaths are men. That part of “equality” simply isn’t important.

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Hillary has also accomplished quite a lot. Let’s hear what her supporters have to say about Hillary’s experience and qualifications:

Hillary was First Lady for a while and traveled a lot as Secretary of State. Don’t you dare ask Hillary how Libya is going though. As we can all clearly see, Hillary will make a fine Presidential candidate. The world of Next Tuesday™ is drawing near, and it will be quite glorious. Forward!

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