Greetings comrades, I’ve come to bring more news of current transgressions against the Party’s righteous agenda, this time from Anheuser-Busch InBev. The wretched cretins at this company have come up with a slogan that defames women, reinforces the Patriarchy©, promotes Rape Culture™, and is generally insidious. This particular tagline for the #UpForWhatever campaign reads: “The perfect beer for removing “no” from your vocabulary for the night.” What were the wretched fiends who made these slogans thinking? Why aren’t they thinking about rape as much as feminists? Why aren’t they in line with the current truth about Rape Culture™?

It doesn’t matter how many people actually do use beer to lower their inhibitions before sex, or for many other activities in general. It doesn’t matter that rape isn’t mentioned or any specific activity for that matter. The word no is also in feminist “No means no” campaigns, thus the connotation with rape and Rape Culture™ is established. No further evidence is necessary. It doesn’t even matter if the evidence used to support the idea of Rape Culture can be proven false, due to the glory of unductive logic the evidence must be false if the narrative is true and korrect. Never forget comrades, in accordance with current doctrine on Rape Culture™ and as evidenced by Emma Watson’s HeForMe campaign only men rape and are responsible for all rape.

Understandably, Anheuser-Busch InBev has pulled this marketing slogan. In a recent statement, Alexander Lambrecht, Vice-President for Bud Light of Anheuser-Busch, said, “It’s clear that this message missed the mark, and we regret it. We would never condone disrespectful or irresponsible behavior.” This is clearly not enough to assuage any guilt, much more must be done to show faith and penance to the Party. Monetary donations are in order, large donations. Possible recipients for any Capitalist Exploitation Units would be: Emma Watson’s (worth US $60 million) HeForMe campaign, the Clinton Foundation, and/or Al Gore’s carbon footprint.

Some wretched men may have the gall to state that sometimes men are also raped and that plenty of women rape men and children too. Many of those evil RethugliKKKans and Losertarians may even state that people should defend themselves rather than teaching only men not to rape. It is against the current Truth to read any reports or research that show most rapes are committed by a small number of repeat offenders. Once all men are taught not to rape, the Rape Culture™ and Patriarchy© that feeds off of it will finally die off. Comrades, any who read stories of women raping men, children, or other women will be sent to the Gulag tolerance camp. For anyone who needs further guidance on how to debate and reason with those evil non-feminists, here are some lessons from Kommissar Big Red:

Here are some arguments from typical RethugliKKKans, Losertarians, misogynists, incest supporters, rape apologists, and other miscellaneous Neanderthals . They are not to be viewed except through approved Party channels that will only deride the content and take any and all statements out of context.

As always, post up any government censored and Party approved comments below.