I just saw “The Predator”

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I just saw The Predator a few nights ago and it was pretty awful. Where to start with this terrible, mind-numbing film? Is it the bad CGI of the spaceships chasing each other? Is it the fact that one of the Predators wanted to save humanity while simultaneously killing every human he passed by? Is it the fact that all of the horror and suspense elements have seemingly been replaced by bad lines and terrible, non-stop, and just confusing humor and jokes? The fact that a child with Asperger’s is a savant (oh yeah, it’s “the next step of human evolution“) that can in a few hours decipher an alien language and fully understand how to use technology developed by the Predators? Do you like references? Well I hope you do, because this movie is full of them (“Get to the choppers!” “You are one beautiful motherfucker.“) The tone of the movie was just so confusing and contrived; did Shane Black really star in the first Predator film? I don’t think he understands what made the first film the masterpiece that it is. I guess what a Predator film needed was humans jumping on a spaceship that can fly faster than any human jet or a man with Tourette syndrome for the sole purpose of comic relief (which magically goes away whenever the script demands it).

What more could you possibly ask for in a film?

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