Tag: bad movies

cinema

The Drinker fixes Fat Thor and Luke Skywalker

There aren’t too many theaters open right now because of the Chinese Flu (or our response to it) but that doesn’t mean we can’t make fun of some terrible creative choices in big-budget films right? One of the channels that I’ve started to frequent more recently is The Critical Drinker and it’s a great channel that you should check out when you have the chance. The Drinker’s latest projects are to think of coherent and far better ways of writing how titular and beloved characters that have been emasculated/ruined by Disney® and its incompetent “creative” decisions. The videos are quite well done and the possibilities to fix the numerous character inconsistencies should have been apparent to a large team receiving hundreds of millions of dollars to make these films. But, I suppose that Disney’s® Marvel™  and LucasFilm™ needed to force certain characters down our throat and add some diversity in the worst ways possible. Enough of my ranting though, enjoy these awesome videos and their acerbic wit!

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Jeff Lebowski, is that you?

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Buy! Consume product! Question nothing! Submit!
cinema, Humor

Voxis Production’s “The Predator” Review

A few days ago I wrote a short post about my cringe-inducing viewing experience of The Predator and how absolutely terrible it was. During the process of writing that post one of the better film reviews I’ve seen recently was taken down just a few hours after being posted. I guess that non-nudity was too much for someone to handle. It’s made by a growing channel on YouTube called Voxis Productions that does some pretty good work and is well worth your time.

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Alright, I promise I’ll stop talking about the Predator franchise for a while now. I just can’t stand how many terrible sequels that there have been to the first amazing film. I even thought that the second movie still held up pretty well and built on the lore in nice ways. Go to hell Hollywood. I do have one last thought roiling in my mind before I leave this films series though: can Hollywood be consistent on sexual predators? A scene that had a man by the name of Steve Wilder (sex offender who actually served some time) was cut from the movie right before its release. Why does Hollywood accept convicted rapist Roman Polanski who fled the country to escape prosecution though? Just some food for thought I suppose.

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cinema

I just saw “The Predator”

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I just saw The Predator a few nights ago and it was pretty awful. Where to start with this terrible, mind-numbing film? Is it the bad CGI of the spaceships chasing each other? Is it the fact that one of the Predators wanted to save humanity while simultaneously killing every human he passed by? Is it the fact that all of the horror and suspense elements have seemingly been replaced by bad lines and terrible, non-stop, and just confusing humor and jokes? The fact that a child with Asperger’s is a savant (oh yeah, it’s “the next step of human evolution“) that can in a few hours decipher an alien language and fully understand how to use technology developed by the Predators? Do you like references? Well I hope you do, because this movie is full of them (“Get to the choppers!” “You are one beautiful motherfucker.“) The tone of the movie was just so confusing and contrived; did Shane Black really star in the first Predator film? I don’t think he understands what made the first film the masterpiece that it is. I guess what a Predator film needed was humans jumping on a spaceship that can fly faster than any human jet or a man with Tourette syndrome for the sole purpose of comic relief (which magically goes away whenever the script demands it).

What more could you possibly ask for in a film?

cinema

Neil Breen is back!

Neil Breen is back with a work of sheer Breeness that must be seen to be believed. The new Breen film Twisted Pair looks like it will be even more amazing than his other films. Neil Breen isn’t just in the movie as one man anymore, now there’s two people to play as God Space Jesus world’s best hacker best spy ever Neil Breen.

For those of you who don’t know how astounding and awesome Neil Breen and his films are you should take a look at Rich Evans trying to describe the plot of Double Down on Red Letter Media’s Best of the Worst:

More people need to learn about this man and his wonderful films. More people need to learn about how amazing Neil Breen is at everything he does and how he’s also Space Jesus:

Please, pay this man’s website a visit. He even has an AOL e-mail account!

Buy his films now!!!

cinema

Hunter Killer (2018): Movie of the Year?

The men who brought you Olympus Has Fallen have got together once more to bring you another fine film with a story driven plot: Hunter Killer (2018)! The plot of saving the Russian President from a coup and bringing him onto a submarine looks like it will be as realistic as all of the actions performed by the submarines and Navy SEALs in the trailer. They even throw in an ooh-rah at the end of the trailer, what a fine touch!

The most realistic shot of a submarine ever put onto film.

Then there’s this amazing film synopsis from Fandango. Doesn’t this movie just look like it’s going to be amazing?!

Synopsis

An untested American submarine captain teams with U.S. Navy Seals to rescue the Russian president, who has been kidnapped by a rogue general.

Provided by Rovi

On a non-sarcastic note, this film looks like it might be a so bad it’s good film or some good, fun, action schlock straight out of the 1980s.

I did not edit this poster; they all say “Common” to the right of Gary Oldman.
cinema, Humor

Critical acclaim for one of Adam Sandler’s latest films, Grown Ups 2!

While this film is not really new being released back in 2013, Grown Ups 2 is a great film. Adam Sandler, David Spade and Sandler’s other friends just keep the laughs coming. You might be thinking that since the last several Adam Sandler films have been lazy, formulaic, uninspired and appeal to the lowest common denominator, but you’d be wrong about this film my friend! While a few things in it might be corny, it’s just a movie so learn to have some fun. Just pull the stick out of your rear-end and enjoy the film. Mike and Jay over at Red Letter Media have many great things to say about this film. They found so many good and humorous things in this film that their review of Grown Ups 2 lasts a whole two minutes and fifty-three seconds. If the U.S. box office can give Sandler another 133 million, just accept it. Don’t forget to watch the whole Grown Ups 2 review.

While you’re at it, don’t forget to also watch Red Letter Media’s critical acclaim for Star Wars Episodes I, II and III. You’ll be glad that you watched them, I know that I most certainly found much joy in the aforementioned Star Wars reviews. Enjoy!

Bonus Round, here’s the Honest Trailer for Grown Ups.