Category: Humor

Disney’s Star Wars Han Solo Standalone Movie Ideas

Another year passes, another Star Wars movie gets to be made. This time there’s going to be a “standalone” film about Han Solo that takes place at some point in time with a plot that will probably be total garbage. These movies just need to stop being made and there’s really nothing I can say that Rich and Mike won’t do in a much funnier way. Disney sucks:

 

Bonus video:

Feel the Bern, V5.0

Greetings comrades! It’s been a while since I’ve made a post and even longer since I’ve made one of any real substance. This post will just be some pictorial propaganda and for the next week or so it’ll be a while before I get back to making posts regularly. As always, don’t forget to vote for the most Stalinist candidate possible, support the Party, give up all your income, and be sure to spread this post amongst your progressive fiends. Enjoy!

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It had to happen sometime…
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You might not realize it, but government control of your life is what you want. What kind of thoughtkriminal wants freedom anyway?

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Bernie’s true enemies: mathematics and geography!

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We’ve been through this before…

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Don’t forget to show you support for Bernie and his Sandroids by visiting Economic Illiterates for Bernie Sanders 2016!

Irina Alexandrovevskivich’s five reasons to vote for Hillary

Irina Alexandrovevskivich’s five reasons to vote for Hillary Clinton will truly convince you to give up any inkorrect thinking you are harboring and vote for the Socialist Democratic Party. Shillary Hillary will liberate you from working for a living to voting for a living and serving the State. Women will be liberated from all the loser men in their lives. It will be as glorious as the Workers’ Paradise of Detroit or Chicongo. Forward, to the World of Next Tuesday!

Women vote for women, men vote for men…

Consent is Simple!

Good evening comrades, today we’re going to watch some glorious feminist propaganda media material. Here’s a sampling of what you’ll learn from these fine videos:

  • Only men rape.
  • Only white men rape.
  • All women are innocent.
  • Sex requires explicit verbal consent from women and women only.
  • And much, much, more!

Comrades, the Yes means Yes law recently passed in the People’s Republic of California (PRC) was a good start but simply not enough progress. More innocent men must be imprisoned, social justice warrior indoctrination needs to expand, and white men must learn to hate themselves for their existence. Perhaps it’s time to have written contracts prior to any sexual or non-sexual contact with an independent witness? Perhaps we should just ban sex? I think that it’s time to start a Committee on Public Safety to figure out what to do with the evil, straight, white male.

You’ll find that numerous thoughtcriminals disagreed with the narratives presented in the video. Perhaps it’s time for the USSA to undergo a Cultural Revolution.

therironwill tremoanatehemon Capture

 

Mr. Potus Takeo cataclysmic

Ulrich supermolc Evans

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Don’t you feel like you’ve learned quite a lot about sexual consent and social interactions? For any who disagree, feel free to report to Tolerance Camp.

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I keep thinking that the social justice warriors keep hitting full retard; I need to stop that. If you want to lose some more brain cells, listen to the feminist Laci Green. It even comes with trigger warnings, just in case you don’t know how to think or deal with reality. Is this really how feminists have sex? Is this how social justice warriors interact with each other? Or are they just devoid of all humanity and genuine emotion and choose to do nothing but complain?

For further discussion on how insipid the Project Consent videos are let’s listen to the talking deer for a few minutes:

 

Take the CheckMyPrivilege quiz now!

 

Have you always wanted to know how much of a bigoted, xenophobic, racist that you are? Now there’s a convenient quiz for you to take at CheckMyPrivilege.com! Isn’t this just wonderful comrade? This website has many more amazing features such as:

The Bill Split CalculatorNever again will you have to argue with your friends about how much the more privileged should have to chip in for the pizza because of their oppressive positions! Simply have your friends all Check Their Privilege, save their scores on the results page, and use the Calculator to determine how much they each owe! It couldn’t be simpler!

Campus Investigation Service-We can save you loads of headache and paperwork by keeping your administrative staff employed. Visit the Campus Investigations page and call today for a free consultation on how we can help you!

A link to a store that sells disgusting shirts that support the Patriachy©-We helpfully added a link to a store that sells disgusting patriarchal T-Shirts like the one worn by somebody that compensates for his manhood by building large phallic replacements and raping mother nature with them, so that you may more easily boycott such things.

It turns out that if you answer the questions with the jist of being a healthy, white, heterosexual male you get a score of 175 with the rank of “Shitlord“! Isn’t good for progressive and tolerant liberals to let you know how much they accept you?

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If you’re a healthy, genderqueer, non-working, Middle Eastern, Muslim, homosexual you get a score of -1275.

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If you’re a poor, female, cis-gendered, black/white, bisexual teacher you get a score of -875.

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Let’s read some testimonials from some proud patrons:

I still cannot believe how much society has lied to me. I used to think that being a white middle-classed German with a penis was ok, and that my life was ok. But since I never identified as a male, and honestly didn’t give a fuck about what gender I am, and am slightly physically hindered by a weak terminal desease, I was so wrong. It must have been the patriarchal internalised agenderphobia that lead me to believe this. Only know have I realised how oppressed I truely am! I will be starting my blog in the next week, visit me there to witness me fighting patriarchal oppression of women and other gender minorities, please. This has changed my life, thank you, checkmyprivilege.com!

Benji

Never in my life have I ever come to the terms with the fact I was a shitlord. Ever since I was born I now realise, I have been oppressing and raping every woman I have ever laid eyes on. Only now do I realise just how oppressing I am despite being an ugly faced, disfigured, bisexual latino all because I was born a man. Thanks checkmyprivilege.com for helping me realise how oppressing I really am to all the woman of the world!

Pablo

Thanks Check My Privilege! I now know I am a fuck boy white cis scum male! 😀

ShitLordWhiteMale

Thank you Check My Privilege for affirming what I have known since 1990. As I continue on my unchecked march toward becoming a plutocrat, I pledge to prey on innocent young men to satiate my ravenous sexual appetite.

Priveleged Shit Baroness

As always, be sure to share this with your friends and aid in the re-education. Otherwise, get them some warm clothes and a shovel!

 

 

Social Justice Warrior demand and human “right” #267: Racial Profiling

Good afternoon comrades, today we’re going to go over yet another glorious social justice warrior demand: racial profiling. That’s right folks, social justice warriors are no demanding that you be able to correctly identify their exact race just by glancing at them. Nothing is more important to these young Party members than racial identification and a “sense of belonging” to a certain racial group. Simply talking with people as individual people instead of a collective is not possible for social justice warriors.

Never forget folks, we need to become a society that moves past race multicultural polycultural society. No matter what, Party members must always find a way to use the Race Card© and other non-arguments like “whitesplaining” and “mansplaining” to any who would dare oppose a progressive utopia.

Watch as this thoughtcriminal attempts to use logic and reason against valiant social justice warriors. Why doesn’t this wretched fiend Undoomed understand that logic and reason are the ideals of some dead, white males? Perhaps he needs a daily two minutes of hate?

Powerline Blog-Long Live the King

It feels good to be a Clinton

It’s time to make another post bashing Shillary instead of Bernie and his Bernouts. Today’s political advertising is from the Ted Cruz campaign. Being a Clinton means never having to admit that you are contradicting your previous policy positions (TPP, homosexual marriage, war in Iraq, etc.), right? It’s also good to be a Clinton since you give away state secrets to random people and take your Top Secret/ Secret Compartmentalized Information (TS/SCI among other classifications) and put it on your home server.

Since Shillary is a Party member and not one of those lowly peons she doesn’t deserve ten or more years jail time. The issue of losing sensitive documents, being investigated by the FBI, and possibly getting indicted is not worthy of discussing at Democratic Presidential debates either. Seriously, why isn’t Bernie using this? Perhaps he’s just that much of a beta-male?

Obviously, there is a vast right-wing conspiracy behind the FBI investigation into Clinton.

Navy Times-Sailor faces charges for submarine photos on cell phone

Business Insider-The FBI is reportedly expanding its investigation of Hillary Clinton’s private email server

Powerline Blog-Debate This!

Powerline Blog-Fallon’s fallacies, cont’d

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“In my safe space”

South Park can be a very visceral and vulgar show at times. South Park can also be very apt and on-point. What’s in your safe space?

Bully proof windows, Troll safe doors…

Are you PC, brah?

#triggered 94 fuzzygaming Letho

The things that social justice warriors complain about never cease to amaze…

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I’ve never understood the fascination…

Why do people like Fifty Shades of Grey again? What’s so good about horribly written fan-fiction based upon an old woman’s fantasy about dating a vampire? Let’s ask some experts and take a look at some of the horrible lines from the movie and/or book:

Here are some movie critic thoughts I glanced at from Rotten Tomatoes:

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Here are some thoughts from regular people:

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Idiots like this are why that no talent hack E.L. James is able to make money:

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I’m trying not to laugh to hard at how this idea of “Mommy Porn” is being presented. I’m sure that there’s much better erotica and porn out there, but if someone wants to waste their money…